WTF have I just done?

Ok, well here it is... Last night I had one of those moments where I stopped and quite literally said WTF have I just done.
Find the date for next year - Done
Research the route (again) - Done
Convince myself that I can swim that far in open water - Done
Convince myself that I can smash the bike leg - Done
Convince myself that my knees will hold together and finish a marathon - Kind of done.
Put details into registration form - Done
Put credit card details in (to pay the not insubstantial race fee) - Done
Click the link which will send me into a world of hurt, despair, pain, suffering, cost (both in financial and relationship with my wife and kids) - Done.


WTF have I just done.


Like clicking on a live Jasmin pop-up I am now in a world of hurt that is entirely my own making.


Then the email comes through - Congratulations you've been registered for Ironman Wales 2017


Bollocks. I need to get in shape.
Its ok, I've got a year.
Shit the bed, I've only got a year!!!


So this is the tale of the tape:
Age - 36, will be 37 come race time (I say race, for the dudes at the pointy end its a race, for me it'll be survival)
Weight - 82kg of fairly lean muscle when not broken from the rugby season
Height - 5ft 10 with no hair care products


Current pace from my (limited) pre, preseason training
Swim - About 28 mins a mile in the local 43.5m pool
Bike - 82 miles in just over 5 hrs (longest ride to date) so that's looking like an average of 16.4 miles per hour.
Run - 1/2 marathon in 1.51 with f-all training and having been at work all day


All gravy then, I'll be looking at a 1hr swim, 7hr bike and sub 4 hr marathon. - 12hrs and a bevy of blonde welsh virgins (yeah, yeah, good luck finding them down chip alley on a Saturday night) will be waiting for me across the finish line.


Holy fuck I'm going to die. There is no chance I can run anywhere close to that pace following a ride, and my body has an inbuilt swimming inhibitor that dislikes any water sports (Schting!) before midday.
Let the most excellent adventure commence.
Indoor cycle this lunchtime, 51 weeks to go,
Ironman Wales you will not kick my arse.